It was another quiet, vulnerable day. My electric was still shot, which probably contributed to more than a little melancholy with regards to my absent Muse, who I've not had any meaningful contact with since the last Journey. Part of me wanted to go to the sea, to wander and feel the mad energy at the edge of the world, but I thought better of it. It would have been too much.
What I did do, though, ended up being more powerful, and actually has me filled with hope and beauty again. After hearing that Warner Bros. has delayed the Cloud Atlas dvd release until May or June, I decided to take matters into my own hands and *ahem* acquire a copy. I hadn't necessarily intended to watch the near three hour extravaganza, but I'm not surprised that I did.
After being so deliciously overwhelmed by it in the theater back in October, this second viewing was subtler and deeper, as you might expect. Since I already knew what was going on (as much as you can in a film like this, anyway) I was able to watch it differently, let it wash over me differently, and it affected me deeply, in a different way than it did in October.
What it really did, I suppose, was meet my vulnerable melancholy head on, as if to say, "It's okay to feel things deeply. It's okay to miss her. It's okay to know things you can't put into words." I'm still not ready to take on the world just yet, and I'm very glad I decided to skip the IAF salon in the city this evening (first time since July) but I feel better than I have in a few days.
And that's good enough for now.
Good night.
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