Changing my seat, it's possible to see the world differently. Magick at the library. Design at the coffee house. Some days, if I stay in my beloved Womb, all I can do is sleep, toss and turn at two pm, waiting. Autumn, far away. Winter, farther still.
So I move around, ask questions, get to know the current better. It named itself today. A clever old name. So I sigilized it, and it asked for a radioactive heart, like some star bellied sneetch from an Otherworld without name.
Servitor :: egregore
I WANT MORE
I have a feeling what comes next is going to annoy people.
Good.
August 16, 2013
August 15, 2013
A Current Affair ...
There's a current coming through. Full on chaos re-immersion, to be discarded at any time. What is its secret name? It's face? No tradition. No lineage. Just here and now. Utterly recyclable. The most powerful magickal charge.
Thirty nine days 'til the Equinox. I think the second wing is starting to move beneath the ash. I'm getting angrier. This is not a bad thing. Still dizzy. Still need the naps. But agni up. Who will I become? What is this next regeneration? All I know is there will be glitter.
It's hard to put a voice to these things, even with loved ones, even on a Wednesday. It's not that she wouldn't understand. It's more that I don't understand. Yet. But this developing current with no name ran through me as I stared at / walked through / breathed into these places ...
I will always need these [places]. But I'm going to need some darker ones soon ...
Thirty nine days 'til the Equinox. I think the second wing is starting to move beneath the ash. I'm getting angrier. This is not a bad thing. Still dizzy. Still need the naps. But agni up. Who will I become? What is this next regeneration? All I know is there will be glitter.
It's hard to put a voice to these things, even with loved ones, even on a Wednesday. It's not that she wouldn't understand. It's more that I don't understand. Yet. But this developing current with no name ran through me as I stared at / walked through / breathed into these places ...
I will always need these [places]. But I'm going to need some darker ones soon ...
August 14, 2013
Do The Watusi ...
Is dizziness a disease of the heart or the head?
What reason to get out of bed?
Are all the giants dead?
Too many business emails, phone calls, design sessions. My future phoenix wing just wants to do the watusi beneath the ash and soot of my former selves, anticipating Autumn. But everyone wants something, and everything is so forward focused. There's no now, and though I don't like now very much, I like thinking about then even less. Past then, future then, all shit. You know it's true.
I'm going to go read about 4th dimensional hyperreality and then go to sleep.
I'm not kidding.
What reason to get out of bed?
Are all the giants dead?
Too many business emails, phone calls, design sessions. My future phoenix wing just wants to do the watusi beneath the ash and soot of my former selves, anticipating Autumn. But everyone wants something, and everything is so forward focused. There's no now, and though I don't like now very much, I like thinking about then even less. Past then, future then, all shit. You know it's true.
I'm going to go read about 4th dimensional hyperreality and then go to sleep.
I'm not kidding.
August 13, 2013
With The Pressure Release Comes Relief ...
... and exhaustion!
Somewhere, somewhen, I remember hearing that it isn't the car tire crushing your leg that hurts the worst. It's when they take the car off of you. That's when you're really fucked.
Now that everything is out in the open, now that everyone has been told about my plans for the shamanic future (one went very good, one went very bad) I can breathe.
Such cRuShInG relief!
Summer malaise since the beginning of July. Ro-ro-rotator cuff foolishness. Kirtan wife acting up / acting out. Even the lovely overnight anniversary and Flame Shift, bless 'em, were strains. Is it any wonder I slept until 10am today, then had a nap in the afternoon? Dunmore Throop is scandalized!
Reading about the writing life, and the way of the storyteller, about entropy in the u.k. and the fact that Joanne Rowling knows as much about the tablet and stone as I do, it's been a helluva day, a helluva season, a helluva life.
One of many. Lived at full speed. All at once. All mine.
Somewhere, somewhen, I remember hearing that it isn't the car tire crushing your leg that hurts the worst. It's when they take the car off of you. That's when you're really fucked.
Now that everything is out in the open, now that everyone has been told about my plans for the shamanic future (one went very good, one went very bad) I can breathe.
Such cRuShInG relief!
Summer malaise since the beginning of July. Ro-ro-rotator cuff foolishness. Kirtan wife acting up / acting out. Even the lovely overnight anniversary and Flame Shift, bless 'em, were strains. Is it any wonder I slept until 10am today, then had a nap in the afternoon? Dunmore Throop is scandalized!
Reading about the writing life, and the way of the storyteller, about entropy in the u.k. and the fact that Joanne Rowling knows as much about the tablet and stone as I do, it's been a helluva day, a helluva season, a helluva life.
One of many. Lived at full speed. All at once. All mine.
August 12, 2013
Flame Shift #76 ...
Once again I begin again. All will be revealed in time. So many feels, so deep and wide and true, though not to be explained. Not yet. Everyone's going through ch-ch-ch-ch-changes. Texts from old friends and older friends and wisps of stories coming through where I can almost touch them.
Who is Dunmore Throop? One day, I may just tell you.
I spent nearly the entire day up here on Flame Shift #76. I did my work and I did it well. She was as present as you would expect. When I got tired, She woke me. When I needed to shift my focus, She let me know. Magickal timing was more important than ever. She's preparing me, that crafty Lady.
I know it's not time to return to my poetry just yet. But god, how I want to.
This is a history, this journal. Of who I am, and was, and might be, depending on when you read it. What we watched, or how far we walked, or how clean the house is or how warm the weather is doesn't matter so much. It's about what I felt / feel / will feel. That's the only kind of history I care about.
And I just don't know how I feel right now.
Who is Dunmore Throop? One day, I may just tell you.
I spent nearly the entire day up here on Flame Shift #76. I did my work and I did it well. She was as present as you would expect. When I got tired, She woke me. When I needed to shift my focus, She let me know. Magickal timing was more important than ever. She's preparing me, that crafty Lady.
I know it's not time to return to my poetry just yet. But god, how I want to.
This is a history, this journal. Of who I am, and was, and might be, depending on when you read it. What we watched, or how far we walked, or how clean the house is or how warm the weather is doesn't matter so much. It's about what I felt / feel / will feel. That's the only kind of history I care about.
And I just don't know how I feel right now.
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