Longwalker, Seventeen Years Later ...

Back when we were kids, there was an album we used to listen to all the time. It was by one of our heroes, Jon Anderson, and it was called Toltec. I didn't understand it fully at the time, but the album was deeply laced with the wisdom of Native American shamanism.

Like I said, we used to listen to it all the time, studying every morsel, gleaning whatever we could from the spoken word bits by a medicine man named Longwalker. For kids in their early twenties, who knew nothing, but who knew they needed a way out, music like this was a revelation.

Fast forward seventeen years, and Elizabeth put the first movement of the record on our old boom box as she was getting ready for bed. We're still together. Bug is in the next room. And as I'm listening to Longwalker, it hit me like a ton of rocks ...

I've actually become that medicine woman.

For a while now, I've been so down on shamanism and kirtan, so down on anything that smelled even vaguely of New Age. Even after The Lady's admonition last week that "I am not a secular humanist," I've had a hard time actually being proud / comfortable with what I do.

But hearing this music, it all came rushing back. The sense of discovery, and wonder, and mystery. I could remember being young, and wanting to know everything. I'm not the same person anymore, especially these days, but hearing Jon and Longwalker, I was proud of who I've become, for the first time in a long time.

I suppose that's a start.

The rest of today was movement mixed with the standard sturm und drang. We had family pancake breakfast. E and I each had study time. I got some dates in here transcribed. (July 15-20, if you're interested.) I talked to BA a few times. E and I drove out to the Palisades, then later took Walk #2 around the neighborhood.

The AC downstairs is still not working, so I am getting ready to sleep up here yet again. Maybe that's good, though, being immersed in this mad sanctuary, this Womb. Maybe I'll dream of other worlds again. Maybe somewhere, somehow, Jon & Longwalker would be proud of me, that I found my way here all these years later.

It's going to be a looooong 55 days until the Equinox. But maybe, just maybe, this is the first tentative movement of a red and golden wing, buried beneath a pile of ash ...