Today started so well, full of poetic musings on my other blog. I got my nails done. I read. I enjoyed my solitude. Then the evening's kirtan rolled around, and it had an eerie similarity to the recent problems I've ben having with my shamanic events.
Another drummer has insinuated himself into the local new age community, clearly after my job, and though BA continues to be committed to our partnership, this new drummer's presence has really muddied the water at one of the freelance gigs I do every month.
I am professional. I work very hard to perform at the highest level, to provide a unique and powerful experience for the audience. I am not used to having to share the stage with amateurs, which this man is. Kumbaya (my short hand for "everyone gets a chance") is just not in my DNA.
So I spent the first half hour sitting in the back of the room, bored, while this person provided nothing to warrant his presence. BA and I then played the second half of the evening, and order was restored, but only playing three songs was not nearly as satisfying, as you might imagine.
Once again, I am presented with a situation where I either have to remove the obstacle (like in shamanism) or remove myself (much more likely, in this instance). If there's a recurring lesson here, it seems to be this : outer work requires support, otherwise I can't (and won't) do it.
Summer is a good time for me to go inwards, write, and protect myself anyway ...
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