Flame Shift #71 ...

First thing this morning, before I was even fully awake, this is what I wrote on Twitter :

Everything feels so tactile today. Almost hand carved. The water running in the driveway. The music I am hearing. What are the words?

They say The Work is mental, spiritual, physical. The work of the head, the heart, the hands. Today feels physical. Today is the hands.

This is the part of me that wants to dance, to work the forge, to shoot the bow, to bring puppets to life. Telling stories through action.

I don't listen to this part of me enough. My studies are slowly unlocking this. The Muse is inspiring this. Everything is changing.

So ... what to do with this? First, sit with it, I suppose. It's a clear call to arms to return to my body, disassociated as I am with it most of the time. It also feels like a warning, to get healthy, to address things more directly, to put a cork in the passive, ennui-filled insidious death wish that clearly lives somewhere inside me. On some level, I've always wished I was a brain in a jar, or a non-corporeal thing floating in the ether. I've long ago stopped caring that the medication I take has taken all thought of sexuality & pleasure from me. None of this should surprise anyone who knows me.

What a good thing it was to have Jason here, as the most special of guests, during the last two hours of this Flame Shift. He'd been up here once before, for a few minutes, at a party we hosted a few Winters ago, but he'd never seen The Womb in the daylight, nor spent as much time up here as he did today. As you might guess, with The Lady so present, we went deep, and I was able to tell him all the things I've been talking about here, and just like when I was first starting out, he was able to validate and push me in equal measure. Our relationship has changed so much this year, it was nice to see that we could still find that place together.

At 8pm, we went downstairs and had dinner with E & J. (Ohhhh, how I wished The Muse could have been here, but that's not quite how life is right now.) J cooked one of her trademark meals, complete with the salad, and we ate and told stories and had chocolate ice cream & sugar cookies (Jason's intake of both of which amused and delighted us!). I know I've said this before, but it's really like having a father in my life, or at least what I always imagined having a loving, eccentric father would have been like. When he left, all three of us were aware of how special the evening was. Who knows how many more we'll have with him, before he flies away to paradise?

So much to ponder, but for now, bed. Good night.