After yet another lovely Spring afternoon out of doors, this time at Greenwood Lake (see above) it was a day of outer work, and of the great chasm between the two sides of that work.
As gorgeous and peaceful as that gazebo was, I was actually happy to come back to Earth to play a mini kirtan with Beth Ann at 5pm. It was for the chakra / vinyasa module she was facilitating for yoga teacher training, and we played a sixty minute set at the end of their workshop. We were playful, and the dozen or so people loved it, and it was as effortless and lovely as it always is.
Then my shamanic coworkers began to arrive. And the ease disappeared. And I had to go so deep into my Trickster character just to get through the event. And I felt like a fraud. And I had discouraged everyone from coming. No E & J. No BA. No Muse. And I was lonely, but it was right to protect them. But I was lonely. And I have to trust what I was taught and leave it by the side of the road. Soon.
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