A Strangely Shaped Day ...

"I'm feeling fragile inside. My magic stone is broken and my heart is bending."
-from @PreschoolGems, from a book by the same name

It's Monday morning, 8am. It's very dark, I suppose because of this snow which doesn't seem it will have an effect on my evening. My timing is all off and I am lonely. The former because of a strangely shaped day yesterday. The latter because I am a poet, and this happens sometimes.

Yesterday actually started out so still, so blue. After E fell asleep at 6pm on Saturday night, and slept through to Sunday morning, she was keen to spend some time with me, so we got up and went out for a walk and some breakfast. This was also an excuse to test drive our rental Prius ...

Our regular red one is in the shop, longer than the dealership said it would be, so they gave us a silver one to use. It's a newer model, and was quite a bit more future on the inside, but it didn't drive like Rose. I was glad to take it on the hilly roads around Pines Lake before having to go down to the sea in it.

The strange shape of yesterday came from me having a rare afternoon gig. How often does that happen?!? It means that instead of going into gig mode around 4pm for a local 7pm performance, you go into gig mode at about 11am for a 4pm performance in Long Branch. It didn't suit me.

The gig itself was quite fine. I took it because it was a chance to reconnect with my friend Lisa, a lovely girl with a gorgeous voice, and another friend Reggie, who used to run a studio in Asbury Park and who was organizing the event. Neither of them had seen me in a couple of years ...

It was also a fundraiser for the Jersey Shore, which of course I would want to support. We were asked to play a kirtan during a yoga class, which turned out to be a very big yoga class, as you can see below. Apparently there is a thriving yoga community along the edge of the sea ...

There was another musician sitting in with us, a singer / harmonium player (Lisa plays guitar) who though very nice, added very little to the musical conversation. But when Lisa and I played our three or four songs, the 60+ strong class reacted very positively, even if they were in a pose!

We closed our set during their savasana, and Lisa played my favorite song of hers, a Hawaiian mantra of love and forgiveness. We played it pianissimo, just her voice and guitar and my drum, every note gentle yet precise as all the people breathed slowly. It was my favorite moment.

After the show, I met lots of new people, and got lots of sweaty hugs. Everyone was very kind, and asked if I would be playing in that area again soon. Two people took that a step further and offered Lisa and I a gig, one in May and one in September. We accepted them, adding further to my busy outer life.

I reluctantly declined the offer to go to dinner with about ten of the women, because I knew I would crash shortly and I had an hour + drive home. It was nice to be invited though, as the ones I didn't know seemed genuinely interested in getting to know me. Maybe next time.

After a quiet drive home, I was having dinner with the Lovelies at about 8pm. E shared the story of her equestrian volunteer adventure, and I shared my tale. I really wanted to come up here and decompress, but E equally really wanted me to stay downstairs, so I acquiesced. Doesn't happen very often.

We watched an episode of the Doctor, as I continue to suss out how I feel about this most recent incarnation.  Unfortunately, sitting on that couch watching something took the last bit of energy I had, and not long after I put E to bed, I was asleep up here on the couch. Which is why I was up so early this morning ...

What a balancing act : the things you know about yourself vs. the things others need of you. Every single time I go against what I know about myself, I regret it, or at the very least I get proven right. But that doesn't always lead to making those around you happy. A basic human dilemma, I suppose.

After last week's heavenly seclusion, yesterday began a week in which I have something to do every single day. Even though most of them should be pleasurable, the feast or famine of it has me uneasy. So I will try to take each day as it comes, and try to enjoy these opportunities to interact with the world.

"Take pleasure, my man. Enjoy the smoke and the silence and the silken river. Take pleasure not because it's fleeting, but because it exists at all."
- Clive Barker