With this new membership we have, there are very cool perks, like getting to attend the dress rehearsal, the night before the premiere, free of charge. Seating was first come, first served, and after sitting up in the ceiling at Christmas, I was determined to sit lower, where the art would feel more immediate, more alive. Arriving an hour before curtain (while the pre-rehearsal rehearsal was still going on) meant some of the best seats in the house. Wow.
The performance was Balanchine's Sleeping Beauty, which was as lush and beautiful as you would expect. The dancers who played Aurora and the Lilac Fairy were particularly beautiful and full of fire, even though you could tell they were quite beat up physically. There was something very raw about attending a rehearsal, about seeing the director Peter Martins pacing around, making last minute adjustments. It was a peek into a whole other world.
I won't lie. I measure myself against performers like these. I see their dedication, their obsession, their ability to go all in, and I ask myself ... am I doing enough? Am I settling? Is greatness important enough to me to take that next step, after 31 years in music and 20 years of writing? I zoom about, chasing beauty, putting myself in the path of those at the top of their game, so I can breathe the air around those who know, in the hope that I could, in my own fields, join their number one day.
This is as good a reason as I can come up with to get out of bed every day.
Wow. Seeing them at rehearsal, the performers . . . almost like seeing them just hanging out. You get to see the real person, not the dressed up and made up final product with all that tiredness and battering hidden. It certainly does take a lot of focus to perform at Lincoln Center (and how lucky you are to be able to be there!). But Tara, my love . . . look at yourself from an outsider's perspective. Like these performers, your Purpose is your life, your livelihood, and indeed, your bread and water. Aren't you doing the same thing as these dancers? Haven't you totally left behind the by-the-book life of living up to the expectations of others and the safe, no surprises environment of your childhood? Aren't you living your dream, along with the glorious performances and the painful injuries, with complete focus and total immersion?
ReplyDeleteJust sayin'
**heart**
this MUST have been a remarkable experience! and from what i know of their shows in general, lush and beautiful seem very appropriate! AND, as per usual, i concur with N.... aren't you doing the same this as these dancers? that director? aren't you the one you stands in the winds of "NO" and screams "yes"?
ReplyDeletemuch much much love!!